Friday, 23 June 2017

Little Life Update

My Life Recently 



Hey guys, I'm so sorry that I haven't posted in so long! I really really didn't want that to happen and wanted to try so hard and be a regularly posting blogger - all the best plans and all that huh?!  I hope that moving forward I will be better at regular posting and that you guys haven't missed my posts too much!  So I wanted to do a little life update post to explain what's been happening in the last few weeks that have kept me away from my little blog.  





So here we are in June already, the middle of June too; I honestly have no idea how that happened,  I swear it was only Christmas a couple of weeks ago, it’s so scary how fast time is going round… is it just me, cos I’m getting older or is anyone else feeling it too?  I thought that time would be going slowly because I'm not working but it's really not.  But since it's supposed to be summer now I'm hoping that we get some better weather here - our Scottish heatwave hasn't been quite so extreme as down south! - at some point although it really is a catch 22 for me because I love the heat and I'm such a sun baby, just love sitting out in it and reading but it plays absolute havoc with my PoTS so I know its just going to make me dizzy!  


I know I hadn't even properly gotten into the swing of things with my new blog too and posting regularly but I do still love it; I guess I'm just easily distracted!  So here's what's been distracting me lately -  

Flare

Yeah you might've guessed it, probably the biggest reason for me being away from my blog is my faulty body.  :(  It is a really frustrating thing when your mind is willing to do something but your body isn't.  I don't know if I was finding it harder to deal with because mentally I've been a bit better than I had been before maybe, I'm hoping to learn some better coping techniques,  just now I seem to cope a lot of the time by sort of 'shutting down' and not really wanting to interact much.  

My body went into a bad flare that kept me down for a few weeks with only a day or two here and there of respite.  The last couple of weeks have been better, when I say better they've been 'okay-ish' days but I've still had a bad day here and there such as the weekend there.  I've learnt that there is no escaping chronic illness at all, I might have days where I don't feel so hellish and I can cope a lot better and feel less achy but honestly living with chronic illness is a bit of a bitch because it likes to remind you with a big wallop!! Dealing with my body is one reason that I was worried about starting my blog, I don't want to be just vanishing every so often but things are pretty unpredictable and really up and down for me just now, there aren't any guarantees that I will be able to post at specific times but I need to remember to just get back to it again when I need to take some time away to rest and also to try and be kind to myself and not force myself to be posting.  

Amelia and Holidays

Little Miss Amelia causing me problems?! Would you believe that?! Ha!  Don't worry though, she's absolutely fine and demanding numerous treats from me as usual! If you're friends with me on Facebook you might've seen me shouting out looking for recommendations for pet sitters!  I've been very stressed out over the last few weeks trying to find the ideal situation for someone to look after Amelia so that I could go on holiday with the family!  My Mum and Dad have a caravan booked to go to Morecambe, near Lancaster for 2 weeks at the end of June with my sister Rebecca and similar to other years I could go too if I wanted to and importantly if I could find care for my little fur child!  I've always really enjoyed our family holidays, we always have such a great time and make amazing memories and this year because of my health I really wanted to go with them most importantly to spend time with the family.  I kept thinking that it would give my mental health such a boost to spend time with the family and have a break, change of scenery and routine.  But for me to go I had to be comfortable with what I was going to do with Amelia!  Last year when we went away I used a pet sitter who came into the house and spent time with Amelia twice a day, I was happy with that last year; I thought it was best that she was in her own home and at least comfortable in her own surroundings.  But this year I just felt like it wasn't enough, I think because over the last year Amelia and I have bonded more and she's become sooo much more of a cuddly girl!  She loves to come up on my lap and have snuggles.



So I wanted to find someone that would maybe stay in my house - which was quite hard because the thought of someone being in my house when I'm not there was quite hard and slightly icky haha but I was willing to do it for her!  But I just kept coming up against obstacles.... couple of people that I knew that done it weren't able to do it at that time and then I looked into some others that were just too crazy expensive and after that I just couldn't find any more; I'm sure there are other companies and pet-sitters that do it but I just couldn't seem to find anyone available!  I was seriously stressing thinking I wasn't going to go on the holiday and not knowing what to do for best when a friend suggested a cattery that her friend runs.  Now I'd always been adamant that I wasn't putting Amelia in a cattery, I had/have very strong reactions against it!  But this cattery was absolutely gorgeous, it was like a little cat hotel and even better yet totally affordable!  But guess what?! Yup no availability!! Haha yeah that's just a little taster of how my life goes!! I started looking at other catteries hoping to find one similar and that's how I finally settled and found somewhere for Amelia to have a little holiday for a fortnight too.  Its not like the amazing cat hotel unfortunately and my feelings over catteries haven't really gone away, I have to admit that I am only really swallowing them down.  But Mum and I went out to see it and I really liked the people, they were definitely cat people, I could see that so that's how I'm making it be okay in my head!  Also I know she will get more attention and interaction there than she would have done if I'd left her at home with a twice a day sitter.  I honestly feel like a bad cat mamma haha and I can only imagine how upset I will be the day I take her to leave her there but I have to remember that I need this holiday and that she will be well looked after!  

It's also been stressful because I've had to sort out booster vaccinations for her which has meant our first trip to the vet and in the car!  She was very well behaved really except she didn't like the car at all.  Because I adopted Amelia and I wasn't sure of her history with vaccinations the vet advised that she was best to have a set of jags when I took her two weeks ago and I need to take her back again before we go on holiday to get a booster top up!  So yep Miss Amelia has been causing me a lot of stress!  Holiday time is really hard because I just don't want to leave her and wish that could just take her with us too!  Some of you reading this might be thinking I'm a waayyy too over protective cat Mum and that's fine, I maybe am!  I'll hold my hands up and admit it!  I'm sure I'll worry about her lots while I'm away but I am really looking forward to having an amazing time away and spending time with my peeps and I will have a fabby reunion with Amelia to look forward to when we come back! :)  This year's situation might not be exactly ideal, it's not quite what I wanted for her in my ideal world but I'm making do for these 2 weeks and I will be a lot more prepared next time.  



Photos

I let myself fall into the trap of getting stressed out over photos for my blog.  I'm not a photographer in any shape or form and I don't take the best photos, I also don't have a good camera but only use my phone.  Writing is something that sorta comes naturally to me and I enjoy letting it all flow out, but taking photos doesn't so it has been a sort of I don't know what to do so I'll just hide from it (Ah, as Laura does best!!) issue.  I don't want to do this, this is my blog and I want to run it however I want without stressing out about things that aren't massively important to me!  So I need to remember that not every blog post needs a photo and also that I'm not a hideously bad blogger if I use a stock photo on occasion!!  So I'm going to try and be kind to myself and stop stressing about this.  I was really feeling the pressure from the blogging community  - does anyone else feel like there is such a pressure around photos in the blogosphere?  I'd rather a post went up without a photo or with one I was happy about rather than one that I just couldn't get right.  I will still be trying to take photos and hopefully I'll get a lot better but I just want to let you guys know that I don't want to let the photo thing become a big thing for me any more, I hope that you understand that and are okay with it :) 

Being Diagnosed

Another reason that I've been away for so long is that I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  This wasn't unexpected at all, it was really just a waiting game to rule everything else out but I'd done enough online research to know that the chances of me having Fibro were really high.  But even although I knew that it was coming it still affected me, it's a strange thing because I waited and waited wanting to be diagnosed to be able to give a name to all my symptoms that didn't fit under my PoTS but being diagnosed with another chronic illness and knowing that I'll have another condition for life is hard to deal with.  I think one of the hardest things for me to accept about this diagnosis is that for fibromyalgia the main symptom is pain and there's no cure for it; it's a condition that is managed through trial and error with meds and eating well and exercising if you can.  I don't want to be in pain for life!  I mean of course not. no-one does but I just find it hard to accept and I think it surprised me that it would affect me really because I was expecting it.  A big part of it for me too is that I'm scared, so far with my pain symptoms all they have done is gotten worse as time goes on, I get sorer and I get tireder; I'm really pretty terrified as to how much worse its going to get.  I don't want to bring a big downer on this post or my blog in general but I wanted to let you guys in on what's been going on.  I'm scared, I'm sore and sometimes I just want to shout and scream about how unfair it is -  I got ill one weekend and I just never got better, that's not the plan I had for my life! But I'll tell you the  story about how my health went upside down in another post.



Thanks for reading this update - sorry it turned out a little bigger than I planned!; and bearing with me while I vanished for a little while, I'm hoping that won't become a regular thing! However I will be on holiday from the 23rd for 2 weeks so I'm not sure how much I will be able to get done then but will see and I will definitely be back on here with you guys after my holiday to share how it went!

What have you guys  been up to lately?  Does anyone have experiences of catteries to share to make me feel better?!  Until next time, hugs, Laura xx
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2 comments

  1. You definitely shouldn't feel guilty about needing to have time away from your blog-your health has to come first!

    I hope you have a brilliant holiday, Laura.

    Laura xx

    www.insidelaurashead.com

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  2. Thank you Laura! I think I felt bad cos I'd just started blogging and wanted to be posting regularly!
    Thanks so much, really glad to be away and get a change of scenery! Xx

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